The Family As Antagonist in RomComs

Ok, so we all know that in romantic comedies, the Antagonist is the lover-to-be, but to kick up the conflict, many RomComs use the Family as the Antagonist. That may be in addition to the alternate suitor–or the Bellamy as discussed in previous posts.

How the Family is the Antagonist in RomComs

How can the family be the antagonist or contribute to the conflict?

• The family is opposed to the relationship (for example, for religious reasons in THE BIG SICK)
• they hate the lover-to-be because of past history (THE BIG SICK)
• the family is so lovable that the protagonist falls in love with the family and doesn’t want to hurt them by revealing the truth or deceive them any further (see THE PROPOSAL or WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING)
• they like the lover-to-be and push the couple together–helpful if it’s enemies-to-lovers (see THE PROPOSAL or even NEVER HAVE I EVER when the mom invites Ben over for dinner)
• the family is so horrible that it creates sympathy for a character (see Ben in NEVER HAVE I EVER and prior post discussing this)
• the family is the backstory that propels the internal conflict

THE BIG SICK – the Family Antagonist

I highly recommend THE BIG SICK. SPOILERS below. Let’s see how it uses the family as one of the main antagonists. Kumail and Emily meet at a comedy club after his comedy act.

Kumail’s family is initially the antagonist because they don’t support his marrying anyone outside the Muslim faith. They keep setting him up with Muslim women in order to find him a suitable wife. And they make clear at the dinner table that marrying outside the faith will lead to ostracism.

But Kumail is falling for Emily. Conflict.

Emily finds out he hasn’t told his family about her and that he doesn’t see how he can marry her because he doesn’t want to lose his family. They break up.

The roommates call him to sit with her at the hospital because she is very sick. He has to authorize putting her in a coma to try to save her. So, now Emily is out of the picture. What can the film do?

Her family arrives at the hospital. And her family becomes the antagonist. The mom HATES him because he broke her daughter’s heart. (The father is not too keen on him either, but he feels bad for him.) And so for the middle of the movie, it’s the relationship between Kumail and her parents which is center stage.

And then when Emily wakes up, the conflict is back between her and Kumail.

THE PROPOSAL

I just re-watched THE PROPOSAL and enjoyed it so much. It has so many great one-liners and set-pieces. I highly recommend it.

Here, the family heightens the stakes–the mom and the grandmother by pushing them together and the father by trying to separate them.

Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds visit his family in “Alaskaaa” (to imitate how Sandra Bullock says it when she hears that’s where he’s from).

The mom and the grandmother push to hear how Ryan Reynolds proposed to Sandra Bullock, push for them to kiss and then insist they get married . . . TOMORROW. They also adopt workaholic Sandra Bullock and take her along on various female field trips. They cause Sandra Bullock to have doubts about going through with the fake marriage.

ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE

In ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE , another one of my favorite movies, Marcus uses his mom’s death and his father being alone as the reason why he has to stay in San Francisco and why he is mired in his current circumstances. And part of Sasha’s journey is to reconcile with her parents, who worked nonstop when she was a kid leaving her to eat dinners alone at home until she was invited over to his family’s house for dinner where his mom taught her how to cook. So, in ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE, the family history is the backstory that propels the internal conflicts of the characters.

Let’s Talk

How are you doing? Have you seen any of these movies? What are some of your favorite lines or moments? Are there other movies that you can think of where the family is the antagonist in the romcom?

Happy Holidays to All! And here’s to a much better 2021!