writing
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Create More Action and Tension in a Manuscript
I labeled my scenes action vs. dialogue per my earlier post, so now I think I need to create more action and tension in my manuscript.
How can I add action when my protagonist is sitting in an office? I can’t invent a space ship or aliens attacking her. (Well, I can, but I’d be in another genre.) She accidently staples her fingers?
So now I’ve added another antagonist who is metaphorically trying to staple my protagonist. Mwuah hah hah.
I also turned to my craft books for advice.
Creating More Action and Tension in a MS Per Dwight Swain
Dwight Swain’s Advice – Add Feeling, Action, Speech
I read Techniques of the Selling Writer by Dwight V. Swain, recommended by Linnea Sinclair and I found what I needed to do.
1) To add tension, you need to show the character’s reaction to an event.
2) The character reaction is “feeling, action, speech.” (p. 56).My character usually talks in reaction, which made me realize I‘ve been leaving out the feeling and the action. I definitely haven’t been using all the “glandular and muscular reactions” (at p. 72). (Am I really supposed to use glandular reactions? That feels so raw.)
a. What is feeling? Dwight Swain explains:
“Panic races through you.
Panic is feeling.
Like magic, sweat slicks your palms and soaks your armpits and trickles down your spine. . .
Actions, one and all.” ( at p. 57) (Also very glandular.)Or his example:
“Hi Jill!” he called. “How’s it going?”
Feeling: A glow of warmth at his friendliness crept through Jill.
Action: She smiled.
Speech: “Just fine, thanks,” she said. ( at p. 58)He’s not recommending that you always use all three components, but rather add it to your writer’s toolbox.
Tension – Internal and External Conflict
And just as I was thinking about this, this on-topic post from https://nybookeditors.com/2019/05/how-to-raise-the-stakes-in-your-novel-and-create-a-gripping-story/ popped up. They suggest adding internal conflict among several other items on the checklist. I recommend reading article and getting the checklist. My protagonist has external and internal conflict, but I haven’t always highlighted the internal conflict.
As Lisa Cron writes,
“[T]he protagonist’s internal struggle is the story’s third rail, the live wire that sparks out interest and drives the story forward.”
Story Genius, by Lisa Cron at p. 18End In Disaster
I also re-read parts of Jack Bickham’s Scene and Structure, another craft book I also highly recommend.
“Disaster works (moves the story forward) by seeming to move the central figure further back from his goal, leaving him in worse trouble than he was before the scene started.”
Scene & Structure by Jack Bickham at p. 42.What are your thoughts?
Do you have any advice on how to create more action and tension in a MS? How do you develop your protagonist’s internal conflict? What kind of books do you like to read?
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Can there be too much dialogue in a manuscript?
Two Friends Talking Can there be too much dialogue in a manuscript?
According to some, yes.
Robert McKee’s Advice on Film Dialogue
I was taken aback by McKee’s advice: “The best advice for writing film dialogue is don’t. Never write a line of dialogue when you can create a visual expression.”
As he explains in Story, “But if you write for the eye when the dialogue comes, as it must, it sparks interest because the audience is hungry for it.” (Story, p. 393). Of course this is for film, and that’s different from a novel, but I still like the notion of the audience or reader being hungry for the dialogue.
I love writing dialogue. I also like to read dialogue. I read that much faster than long paragraphs of description. And of course, the above advice is for film. So does it also apply when writing a novel?
Studying the Techniques of Other Writers in My Genre
I can see that Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes has less dialogue than my MS. Some conversations are expressed via paragraphs like this one:
“When it got to the late afternoon, Evvie poured bourbon and made snacks, and they sat on the love seat with their feet on the coffee table and listened to the new episode of the true-crime podcast they’d both been following. Dean rolled his eyes and complained that the people were clearly never going to solve the case, and Evvie passed him a peanut butter cracker and said it was about the journey.”
Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes at p. 280So I ‘m going to review my MS and see what I can re-write in this manner.
And I’m in the middle of reading Star-Crossed by Minnie Darke (and I’m really enjoying it) and studying her technique.
And here’s a conversation that you definitely don’t want to hear in detail, which is the author’s point, as neither does her character Tara. Lol.
“Tara introduced herself to the silver-haired gentleman beside her, and before long was engaged in a conversation about an unpleasant-sounding bovine condition called campylobacter.”
Star-Crossed by Minnie Darke at p. 70.What is My Dialogue Doing?
As you’ve undoubtedly read, conversations have to move the plot forward or reveal something about the characters. See https://nybookeditors.com/2017/05/your-guide-to-writing-better-dialogue/. And I realized that some of my scenes were just fun banter. But can I keep some of that if it is humorous? I think they did reveal something of my protagonist, so I kept some of it, but shortened it.
The Well-Storied blog gives this great advice to “identify the tension at the core of the scene” and craft related dialogue. That’s just one of 19 good tips at https://www.well-storied.com/blog/write-better-dialogue.
And I also found this blog post from Ride the Pen very helpful about using body language tags to express emotion and convey conflict and character. See https://www.ridethepen.com/body-language-in-dialogue/ .
Adding Action
I also found this advice very helpful from The Editors Blog: “If characters only talk, if they don’t respond to the conflict with action, then that conflict isn’t accomplishing as much as it could. ” https://theeditorsblog.net/2011/10/25/dialogue-my-characters-talk-too-much/
All of the above blog posts are great resources, so I suggest reading them in full.
Three Take-Aways
- Review dialogue in MS and see if it is moving the plot forward or revealing something about my characters. (Or if it’s funny, in which case I also want to keep it.)
- Label my scenes as action vs. talking. See if I need to add more action. (Probably.)
- In talking scenes, check if the description can be enhanced such that it creates a “visual expression” (possibly via body language).
What’s your preference when reading? Can you share any advice about writing dialogue?
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Join Me on My Writing Journey
I’m embarking on my writing journey and I hope you’ll join me! I first started writing a romantic comedy many years ago; I saw such a bad one that I thought, I can write a better one than this.
Starting My Writing Journey
I started taking online writing classes (I’m a mom and I was working as a lawyer), so online was my best option. I enrolled in The Writer’s Academy Constructing a Novel, and it was so much fun. I loved writing, and I enjoyed talking about writing with other writers in the course. My writing tutor in The Writer’s Academy wrote that my scene was “sparky” and I was on Cloud Nine. An acquaintance saw me that day and said I was glowing as if I was in love.
Indeed I had found a new love: writing. Writing a really good scene makes me so happy. But I didn’t have the courage to leave my job (and source of income yet). So I tried writing part-time, but eventually I realized that I just couldn’t do it part-time. (Unfortunately, I’m someone who needs sleep too.) So I quit my job. And here I am.
Learning Writing Craft
I love attending writer’s conferences and taking writing craft courses. I can’t believe that I get to choose from course selections of “Sensual Love Scenes without Stuffing the Turkey” from Alison May and Liam Livings at the RNA Leeds Conference or “Character Torture” by Linnea Sinclair. (I highly recommend taking any courses offered by those authors.) Compare that to “Recent Developments in Securities Fraud Cases,” “GDPR Enforcement,” and “Cyber-Security and Privacy” (course selections at my lawyers’ conferences). You can see there’s a huge difference.
Which pile would you prefer to read? Not that I don’t miss practicing law at times.
Rejections and Encouragement
Because similar to my dating life when I was single, there have been quite a few rejections. But I am still plugging away, trying to improve my craft and making friends with other writers. I eventually found a great guy to marry after many dating disasters, so there’s hope! And I placed Third in the Los Angeles Orange Rose Contest for Women’s Fiction with Romance as a Central Element! They wrote that “You will be published.” (By whom? It’s like a tarot card reader who just hints at good news: “You will meet the man of your dreams. You will come into a fortune.”)
Woohoo! Join me!
So, join me on my journey! Have you changed careers? (Are you a recovering lawyer?) What do you like to read? Do you write? How did you begin your writer’s journey?